Written by the Lovehoney Sex Experts team based on interviews with Andrew Gurza, the Chief Disability Officer at Handi.
There are many health conditions that can impact mobility, including age-related mobility issues which will be experienced by nearly everyone. Having a disability doesn’t change our desire to have our sexual needs met. Globally, we need to equip communities with the knowledge, tools and support required to ensure that when people encounter disability, they are still able to enjoy fulfilling and pleasurable sex lives.
Through developing the Disabled Sex Roundup with Andrew Gurza, the Chief Disability Officer at Handi, we came away with a few key learnings on how we can begin to dismantle harmful myths, break down barriers and make fun and fulfilling sex available to all.
Disability and sexuality around the world
Sexuality is a human right, with the World Health Organisation stating that: “sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction.”
Around the world, societies are moving at different rates to improve the sexual accessibility for people with disabilities. A 2017 article in Sexual and Reproductive Health Matters investigates how discussions on disability and sexuality are gaining visibility in research and policy in some high-income regions, while public discourse on sexual accessibility in low-middle income countries is just beginning to take shape.
Holistic sexual education should be delivered to everyone
Having access to sexual education is key for empowering each generation to understand their bodies. We know that sexual education often fails to be inclusive and lacks disabled representation.
“We deserve to know how our disabled bodies work in relation to our sexuality. That is what sex education should be teaching people,” says Andrew Gurza.
Providing the toys and tools that make pleasure more accessible
Many sex toys currently in market are developed for able bodied people, and can be difficult to use for those who have limited mobility. Some brands, including Handi, are currently working to develop a line of sex toys for people with hand limitations.
Disability isn’t the same for everybody, so there is no one-size-fits-all toy. For those with limited hand mobility, larger controls or wireless control can help to make usage more accessible. People who experience movement disorders might find automatic toys that don’t need to be moved around easier to use. Automatic toys are also beneficial for those who have limited body movement, since once they are switched on it can function without any movement.
“It’s all about working out what kind of toy would work for you. I would advise disabled people to email the store and say “here is what my disability is, I want to know what toy you think would work,” says Andrew.
The Disabled Sex Roundup provides a curated list of sex positions and toys that are effective for people with limited mobility.
We need to make shameless communication the norm
Honest communication without fear or shame is the key to achieving a fulfilling sex life, and it becomes even more important when one or both partners has a disability.
Accommodating for particular needs in the bedroom requires strong communication between partners. In addition to this, having access to experts like carers and occupational therapists gives people with disabilities an avenue to ask for advice in a safe environment.
Dismantling myths and breaking down barriers
Promoting public discourse is key to putting pleasure within everyone’s reach and ensuring adequate resources are available to disabled people.
Sexuality and Disability, a United States-based journal, suggests that the lack of sexual assistance resources for disabled people has roots in the idea that disabled people aren’t sexual, and therefore don’t require resources to seek sexual assistance.
“There are people with disabilities who are asexual and that is part of their identity. But for the most part, many disabled people have different sexual needs and sexual desires,” says Andrew.
The damaging myths around disabled sexuality ultimately comes from ableism, which is the systematic exclusion and discrimination of people with a disability.
“I think the mythology that disabled people can’t have sex is rooted in ableist viewpoints and ableist ideas. We can have sex, but it is very clear that some people don’t want to engage with us in that way, so they say we just can’t have sex,” says Andrew.
Acknowledging and confronting deep-rooted, ableist feelings and views is the first step towards moving towards a world where sexual happiness is accessible for everyone.
“I think when people feel this way they need to confront the fear and name it; what you are feeling is ableism, and that’s okay but you need to talk it out,” says Andrew.
Having these conversations and supporting the organisations that provide knowledge, tools and support now is key to putting pleasure within everyone’s reach.
Please note that blog posts are not peer-reviewed and do not necessarily reflect the views of SRHM as an organisation.